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Slopslack

The $4 pantry pasta I make when I can't be bothered

Garlic, white beans and toasted breadcrumbs. About 25 minutes, most of it waiting for water.

This is what I cook when there’s nothing fresh in the house and I don’t want to think. Everything except the lemon keeps for months, and the lemon is optional. It serves two, or one person plus tomorrow’s lunch.

What it cost at my store this week, rounded up:

  • Half a 1-pound box of spaghetti: $0.75
  • One 15-ounce can of cannellini beans: $1.15
  • 1/4 cup olive oil from a store-brand bottle: $0.70
  • 4 garlic cloves: $0.30
  • 1/2 cup dried breadcrumbs: $0.35
  • Red pepper flakes: $0.05
  • Half a lemon: $0.40

That’s $3.70. Call it $4 for whatever your store is doing to prices this week.

Ingredients

  • 8 ounces spaghetti or linguine
  • 1 (15-ounce) can cannellini or other white beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1/4 cup olive oil, divided
  • 4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup plain dried breadcrumbs or panko
  • 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (1/4 teaspoon if you don’t like heat)
  • 1/2 lemon, optional
  • Kosher salt and black pepper

Steps

  1. Bring 3 quarts of water and 1 tablespoon kosher salt to a boil in a large pot. Using less water than usual gives you starchier pasta water, and the starch is what turns this into a sauce.
  2. While the water heats, put 1 tablespoon of the oil and the breadcrumbs in a large skillet over medium heat. Stir often until they’re golden and smell toasty, 3 to 4 minutes. Tip them into a bowl and add a pinch of salt.
  3. Add the spaghetti to the boiling water and set a timer for 2 minutes less than the package says.
  4. Put the remaining 3 tablespoons of oil and the garlic in the same skillet and set it over medium-low heat. Cook, swirling the pan, until the garlic is pale gold at the edges, 3 to 5 minutes. If it’s coloring fast, lift the pan off the heat for a bit. Brown garlic tastes bitter, and there’s no fixing it.
  5. Add the pepper flakes and the beans, season with salt and cook over medium heat for 2 minutes. Mash about a quarter of the beans against the pan with a spoon. The mashed ones thicken the sauce.
  6. Scoop out 1 cup of pasta water, then drain the spaghetti, or move it straight into the skillet with tongs. Add 1/2 cup of the water and toss over medium-high heat for 1 to 2 minutes, until the liquid looks glossy and clings to the noodles. If it looks dry, add more water a splash at a time.
  7. Take the pan off the heat. Grate in the lemon zest, squeeze in the juice, add black pepper and taste for salt. Divide between bowls and pile the breadcrumbs on top right before you eat, so they stay crunchy.

Swaps

  • Chickpeas work in place of white beans. They don’t mash as easily, so press harder.
  • If you have anchovies, melt 2 or 3 fillets into the oil with the garlic. Nobody will taste fish. They’ll just think the pasta got better.
  • No breadcrumbs? Crush 8 saltines or a handful of plain crackers and toast them the same way.
  • A big handful of spinach or 1 cup of frozen peas can go in with the beans.
  • Parmesan is nice and not needed. The breadcrumbs do the job cheese usually does.

Leftovers keep in the fridge for 3 days. Store the breadcrumbs separately, and loosen the pasta with a spoonful of water when you reheat it. Then sit down. You’ve done enough today.